The Dark Side of Autism

The Harsh Reality of Autism, it's not pretty and some days it's beyond difficult. It can be depressing and heartbreakingly sad. Today I'm sharing the difficult reality that I live in daily. I generally like to keep it positive and pretty, sharing our small victories and progress, but some days I think people don't realize what it's truly like to be an autism parent.  Imagine this boy not strapped in a car seat and you are trying to get him dressed, or in the bath or in bed, this is my reality almost daily. Meltdowns are nothing like tantrums, when I tell people about Jack having one, they feel they can relate because they have children the same age or remember they're own child at Jack's age. While I appreciate that people want to relate, I can almost assure you that they cannot. Today I am giving a glimpse to the other side of our rose colored progress filled life, for the sake of spreading awareness and understanding of the dark side of autism, the moments you most likely never see. For my fellow autism parents I want you to know you are not alone, even though you may feel like it often. God gives me strength to get through these moments, even if in the moment, it feels like I have none.  There are days I wonder if this type of behavior is our forever life, although I don't know the answer to that, I pray unceasingly that it will end some day, preferable before he is big enough to cause real harm to himself or others. Many people face this dangerous aggressive behavior daily with older children, I read so many stories about they're struggles with it. I remain optimistic that this too shall pass, with a touch of fear it may not. That's my reality, like so many other autism families, the struggle is real, the worry is real. We continue the therapies day in and day out waiting for something to click in our children. We try everything, probiotics, prebiotics, CBD oils, iron, magnesium, gluten free dairy free diets, biomedical therapies,  you name it the community is trying it, all in an attempt to correct something that's wrong and affecting our child's behavior, looking for some peace. I have yet to find my answers, personally I am a  skeptic of all of it, because I know my son's behaviors are directly affected by his chromosome syndrome.  Believe it all not, not all children with autism have been genetically tested. Although, some claim that various versions of this list have helped them. What I do know is that I am a warrior and I will never stop being a warrior for my son no matter how painful, sad, or how beautiful and amazing it can be. 

This meltdown lasted almost 30mins (the entire way home) and has continued for the last two hours on and off. It all started because he didn't want to come home with me and he was trying to get out of his seat and ultimately out of the car. 

Hugs From A Fellow Momma Warrior

Xoxo